The Wire
DRAFT Thursday, Sept 3 • 7:00 PM CST • order randomized live on cameraROSTER 7 of 10 seats filled • three open • five if the league expands to 12BALLOT Last-place punishment goes to a league vote • A, B, C or D • bindingWIRE Myles Garrett traded to the Rams in one of the five biggest deals in NFL historyWIRE A.J. Brown to New England for a single first-round pickWIRE Kyler Murray to Minnesota • J.J. McCarthy demoted to backupWIRE Browns QB competition described by one insider as a "training camp circus"EXPANSION Nate Martinez launches Monangai • first solo franchise since 2024NOTICE Prop board is open • three picks per owner • locks at the first selectionDRAFT Thursday, Sept 3 • 7:00 PM CST • order randomized live on cameraROSTER 7 of 10 seats filled • three open • five if the league expands to 12BALLOT Last-place punishment goes to a league vote • A, B, C or D • bindingWIRE Myles Garrett traded to the Rams in one of the five biggest deals in NFL historyWIRE A.J. Brown to New England for a single first-round pickWIRE Kyler Murray to Minnesota • J.J. McCarthy demoted to backupWIRE Browns QB competition described by one insider as a "training camp circus"EXPANSION Nate Martinez launches Monangai • first solo franchise since 2024NOTICE Prop board is open • three picks per owner • locks at the first selection
The Column
Filed by Felipe
Everything He Has Written Down So Far
One column a week from the Editor-in-Chief, plus the archive. Nothing here gets
taken down, edited quietly, or forgotten about in February. That is the entire point of having
a newspaper.
This Week
Saturday, August 22, 2026
Current Edition
Column
9 min read
Nobody Here Has Ever Been Unlucky
The NFL offseason went completely unhinged — Myles Garrett is a Ram, A.J. Brown is a Patriot, Kyler Murray is a Viking — and meanwhile seven of you are preparing for this draft the way a man prepares for a colonoscopy: by refusing to think about it until the morning of, and then panicking in a parking lot.
The Back Catalogue
Permanent Record
Archive • 2024 Season
Twenty months of silence, and then somebody went back through the recaps. How it ended, the Hall of Shame, the record book, and the numbers that follow every one of you into September.
Publishing Schedule
A new column goes up every week until the draft, then every week of the season.
It lands here first. If you would rather it come to you, the league chat gets a link the
moment it publishes, and the commissioner will send one whether you asked for it or not.
